Never Come Between a Woman and her Shoes....

I have a friend that is a shoe freak. You can probably imagine that it's a woman. I have never met a man that is a shoe freak. If I do, I'd be a bit surprised. If you were to look up numbers the average woman has a ridiculous number of pairs of shoes..... perhaps I should say that compared to men women have a ridiculous number of pairs of shoes.

I'm sure there are several women out there that would say they don't have that many shoes compared to the average, and if you are that woman then I commend you for being sensible. But my friend makes up for you....and just about everyone else. She blows the curve by having some obscene number of shoes. I can't even remember how many, but it seems like it was on the order of 100+ pairs of shoes at any given time.....and I think that was after she moved and got rid of a lot of them.

The other day I was talking to her and she is telling me about this great pair of sandals that she found. They are python sandals and she really wanted them. As it turns out they cost $1100. You know me, my next question was "are you fucking high?" She laughed, but I could also tell she was serious about it. $1100 for a freaking pair of sandals. I just had to ask what made them worth $1100 as I obviously am fashion ignorant and simply don't get it. She explained that they were python. OK, I get that. Python....I have a pair of python boots. They didn't cost anywhere near $1100. I think I got them for about $250 ~ $300. So I keep digging to get to the bottom of it. As it turns out they are designer sandals and that is why they cost $1100.

I will never understand the fashion world where people pay way too much money for a simple item. Take blue jeans. I wear mine until they fall apart, but women will go buy them with holes already in them for hundreds of dollars because they have been labeled by a designer. You are crazy.

Anyway, I tried to put it into logical terms for my friend (which is hopeless as I have since found out). I explained that was such a ridiculous way to spend that kind of money that I would fly out to see her, smack her upside the head for buying them, buy a drink at the bar, and fly home. And I could do it for less money than she would pay for the sandals.

And then later, while flying home for real I got to thinking about how many pairs of shoes I now had. Far more than even five years ago. When I was growing up I hardly had any shoes. I didn't need many. A pair of sneakers, a pair of cleats, and I was done. When I was 17 or so I think I had two pair - sneakers and maybe a pair of boots. I'm not sure if it was a fashion thing or just because my feet were growing and I didn't have a need for more than one or two pair.

Now, though, I am substantially older and have a need for many more pairs. Let me explain the difference, though. I go buy a pair of shoes because I have a specific need that I must fill such as riding boots for the bike - not because I think they would look great on me or go well with that outfit. I buy shoes for function and necessity. But I started counting them, and I think I am up there for a guy..... here is what I have:

• Sidi Riding Boots - to protect my feet and ankles in the event of a fall.


• Snakeskin Boots


• Tennis shoes - racquetball, working out and stuff


• Hiking Shoes - hiking in the mountains required a good stiff shoe that could handle it


• Work / Casual Boots - what I wear 90% of the time.


• Lake Sandals - I don't care if they get wet and trashed. That is what they were made for and I need them when I am at the lake, floating the river, etc.


• Slightly nicer casual sandals


• Rockport black shoes - dressier occasions


• Wingtip black shoes - real dressy occasions


• Italian dress shoes - black of course


• brown casual shoes - because I just don't have any brown shoes other than my boots.


• Snowboard boots


• ski boots


• bicycle riding shoes - for "clipless" pedals

So what is that.... 14 pair of shoes? I think that is a lot for a guy. I'm sure there are plenty of guys out there that have nowhere near that many. If I didn't participate in all of my various activities I could reduce that number significantly. I could further reduce it if I didn't ever have a need to dress up. And let's face it, I like dressing like a slob.....it's far easier than trying to figure out what shoes go with my outfit.