Thursday, November 27, 2008
No More Whinging!
I was engaged in dialogue with someone that reads the blog on their cell phone! They don’t have a working computer at the house so they hit it with their phone when they have time. Personally, I hate trying to surf the web or anything on a phone. It’s not my cup of tea.
But this person takes the cake. Apparently, some time back their phone stopped being able to get the pictures I post up or put multiple words on one screen. That’s right, this person reads the blog….one….word….at…..a…..time……on…..their…cell…phone.
Now THAT is dedication. Just think about that next time you are chilling with your full sized keyboard and wishing you had a new 22” flat-screen monitor.
But this person takes the cake. Apparently, some time back their phone stopped being able to get the pictures I post up or put multiple words on one screen. That’s right, this person reads the blog….one….word….at…..a…..time……on…..their…cell…phone.
Now THAT is dedication. Just think about that next time you are chilling with your full sized keyboard and wishing you had a new 22” flat-screen monitor.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Who Wants to Grow Up?
This “demotivational” poster is close to my heart. I’m probably going to hell for this, but when I was a child I pulled this very prank on my grandmother who was getting along in her years.
I couldn’t have been but about five or seven years old and my grandmother was watching me during the day while my parents worked. She was vacuuming and had the vacuum cleaner plugged into an outlet near a bed in the spare bedroom.
I was hiding under the bed and I’d let it run for a moment or two and then yank the plug out of the wall. She’d come back in, look at the plug…look at the socket and plug it back in. Sure enough, I’d wait a moment and then yank it back out. I don’t remember how long this went on for, but I do have a vague memory of trying to not make a sound while she would check out the plug. Of course, I am hurting I am laughing so hard and trying not to laugh all at the same time.
It got kind of serious when she called the electric company AND the fire department because she was afraid there was something wrong with the wiring in the house. There is some fleeting memory of my mom being really pissed at me, but we all laugh about it, now.
I often have friends that ask if I am going to turn 12 this year. I rather like that. I used to date a girl that would always ask when I was going to grow up. Why should I? We aren’t together anymore. Maybe that’s why, but I don’t want to grow up. I want to be a kid the rest of my life. It sure is a lot more fun than being serious all the time.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Scary Gun Owners
Some people shouldn't own guns. This is as natural to me as some people not getting on a motorcycle or people that get perms and have no business doing so.
I don't mean that they shouldn't legally be allowed to own them. I fully respect their right to do so. I just think that they should seriously consider if gun ownership is right for them.
A while back I had posted about the chicks at the gun range that were really scary and gave us reason to get the hell out of there. Today, I was at the range to start working on my sights for my M4. I had just picked up a new rear A3 type sight and was wanting to get it roughly sighted in. The range only had two rifle lanes of 75-feet. Good for a quickie and "getting on paper" as Bling! likes to say.
There were more people there than I expected and I had to wait a bit before a lane opened up. While I was waiting I was watching through the glass onto the first few lanes. There was a guy there that was popping off a few rounds with a pistol of some type. His target was no more than 15 feet out from him. It was probably an 8" or 10" target. The guy couldn't hit it. He hit paper every now and then but I watched him shoot six rounds into the paper below the target.
Three black guys filed off the other rifle lane which opened it up for me. I went in and started setting up. There was another guy who had also just got there and was trying to sight in a new scope. We chatted a bit and I noticed that the black guys had left a silhouette target about 1/2-way down range (keep in mind that was maybe 40 feet). I hit the switch to bring the target back. Silhouette targets are the size of huge mofos - like 6'2+ but there was only ONE hole in the entire target and it was almost off the paper. Seriously. These guys had been shooting a rifle 40-feet at a target that was at least 2 feet wide and 3 feet tall and couldn't hit it.
I just don't even see how that's possible if you made any effort at all. Forget sights. You could point the barrel in the general direction and at least hit it...at least get on paper. But these guys couldn't do it.
When I see stuff like that I just want to calmly walk up to them and explain that they shouldn't own a gun. So please put the gun down, and walk away. Sell it on Craig's List and be thankful that you won't hurt anyone.
I don't mean that they shouldn't legally be allowed to own them. I fully respect their right to do so. I just think that they should seriously consider if gun ownership is right for them.
A while back I had posted about the chicks at the gun range that were really scary and gave us reason to get the hell out of there. Today, I was at the range to start working on my sights for my M4. I had just picked up a new rear A3 type sight and was wanting to get it roughly sighted in. The range only had two rifle lanes of 75-feet. Good for a quickie and "getting on paper" as Bling! likes to say.
There were more people there than I expected and I had to wait a bit before a lane opened up. While I was waiting I was watching through the glass onto the first few lanes. There was a guy there that was popping off a few rounds with a pistol of some type. His target was no more than 15 feet out from him. It was probably an 8" or 10" target. The guy couldn't hit it. He hit paper every now and then but I watched him shoot six rounds into the paper below the target.
Three black guys filed off the other rifle lane which opened it up for me. I went in and started setting up. There was another guy who had also just got there and was trying to sight in a new scope. We chatted a bit and I noticed that the black guys had left a silhouette target about 1/2-way down range (keep in mind that was maybe 40 feet). I hit the switch to bring the target back. Silhouette targets are the size of huge mofos - like 6'2+ but there was only ONE hole in the entire target and it was almost off the paper. Seriously. These guys had been shooting a rifle 40-feet at a target that was at least 2 feet wide and 3 feet tall and couldn't hit it.
I just don't even see how that's possible if you made any effort at all. Forget sights. You could point the barrel in the general direction and at least hit it...at least get on paper. But these guys couldn't do it.
When I see stuff like that I just want to calmly walk up to them and explain that they shouldn't own a gun. So please put the gun down, and walk away. Sell it on Craig's List and be thankful that you won't hurt anyone.
Our Government and Taxation - It's easy, right?
I was reading the instruction guide for filing an s-corp election request. The instruction form indicates that it will take 2hrs and 33 mins to learn about the form and the law.
Yeah, well that makes sense after trying to read the damned thing. Here is one of the paragraphs regarding when to make election:
"For this purpose, the 2 month period begins on the day of the month the tax year begins and ends with the close of the day before the numerically corresponding day of the second calendar month following that month."
WTF? Don't forget the moon also needs to be full and it has to be the third moon of the last quarter prior to the preceding full moon of the next quarter and only if your jacket is hung on the lower peg and not the upper peg as instructed by your fairy fucking godmother.
-bRad
Yeah, well that makes sense after trying to read the damned thing. Here is one of the paragraphs regarding when to make election:
"For this purpose, the 2 month period begins on the day of the month the tax year begins and ends with the close of the day before the numerically corresponding day of the second calendar month following that month."
WTF? Don't forget the moon also needs to be full and it has to be the third moon of the last quarter prior to the preceding full moon of the next quarter and only if your jacket is hung on the lower peg and not the upper peg as instructed by your fairy fucking godmother.
-bRad
Monday, November 17, 2008
Obama Ironically Increases Gun Sales
I went to the FTW Gun Show yesterday. It was probably the fifth one I have been to this year. It was also the most packed show I’d been to ever. I’ve seen some crowded gun shows, but this one took the cake. Still, in talking with one of the vendors they said that the day before (I went on a Sunday) was even worse and that the flow of people by the vendor booths was only about 2 feet per minute because it was so crowded.
I noticed that the general price of guns was up. Not much, but a little bit. Ammo seemed about the same – if you could find it. The guys that normally sold in bulk were either out, or very close to being out. These are the guys that sell cases of ammunition. Need 500 rounds? They usually have tons of the stuff, but not yesterday!
Coincidentally there is a gun store called Cheaper Than Dirt. The store normally does about $500,000 / month in gross sales. The day after Obama got elected they had their first ever $100,000 day. That’s fairly impressive!
My friend commented that it was ironic that you have someone (Obama) that favors gun control and yet that same person is the catalyst for an enormous spike in guns and ammo sales.
I was talking to one of my friends about this and they asked if it was similar to what happens to the stock market when new presidents are elected. The phenomenon is that the market typically goes down when a new president gets elected, especially if it’s a democrat. There are various reasons for this but the two prevalent ones are that democrats typically like to raise taxes and any time there is uncertainty (new president).
However, in this instance I think that this goes beyond simple perception. The reason being that the democrats control both the house and the senate. They have openly said they are for gun control. And now you have a president elect that is openly for gun control. So while you can say that its speculation, and I’d agree, I’d have my money on some new legislation being enacted that affects gun owners.
Last night I was talking to my mom about this and I used the frog in the boiling water theory. I think the same thing happens to our rights. If the government were to try to pass a law to ban guns and take our guns away from us you would have a revolt in the south and possibly some of the other states. (this would be like throwing the frog into the boiling water) But if you slowly enacted legislation and chipped away at our rights we would probably allow it to happen (putting the frog in first and then turning up the heat slowly). The end result would be the same, but it would take longer to get there and people would one day say “didn’t we used to have the right to own guns?”
One last note – I’ve come to the conclusion that the gun show is a great place to see a ton of stuff at once. You might even come across a few deals, but the prices at the show were typically higher than what I’ve been able to find for similar products at other places. Know your stuff before you fork over your cash.
I noticed that the general price of guns was up. Not much, but a little bit. Ammo seemed about the same – if you could find it. The guys that normally sold in bulk were either out, or very close to being out. These are the guys that sell cases of ammunition. Need 500 rounds? They usually have tons of the stuff, but not yesterday!
Coincidentally there is a gun store called Cheaper Than Dirt. The store normally does about $500,000 / month in gross sales. The day after Obama got elected they had their first ever $100,000 day. That’s fairly impressive!
My friend commented that it was ironic that you have someone (Obama) that favors gun control and yet that same person is the catalyst for an enormous spike in guns and ammo sales.
I was talking to one of my friends about this and they asked if it was similar to what happens to the stock market when new presidents are elected. The phenomenon is that the market typically goes down when a new president gets elected, especially if it’s a democrat. There are various reasons for this but the two prevalent ones are that democrats typically like to raise taxes and any time there is uncertainty (new president).
However, in this instance I think that this goes beyond simple perception. The reason being that the democrats control both the house and the senate. They have openly said they are for gun control. And now you have a president elect that is openly for gun control. So while you can say that its speculation, and I’d agree, I’d have my money on some new legislation being enacted that affects gun owners.
Last night I was talking to my mom about this and I used the frog in the boiling water theory. I think the same thing happens to our rights. If the government were to try to pass a law to ban guns and take our guns away from us you would have a revolt in the south and possibly some of the other states. (this would be like throwing the frog into the boiling water) But if you slowly enacted legislation and chipped away at our rights we would probably allow it to happen (putting the frog in first and then turning up the heat slowly). The end result would be the same, but it would take longer to get there and people would one day say “didn’t we used to have the right to own guns?”
One last note – I’ve come to the conclusion that the gun show is a great place to see a ton of stuff at once. You might even come across a few deals, but the prices at the show were typically higher than what I’ve been able to find for similar products at other places. Know your stuff before you fork over your cash.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Fucking with People
One of the things I like to do is fuck with people. I don’t know why, but I do. Sometimes it’s nothing more than seeing what buttons, knobs, or switches have to be tweaked to provoke some type of response. I think my favorite one is bewilderment and confusion followed by nervous laughter.
I found this picture while surfing the net and thought it was really funny. It’s just the kind of thing I would do.
I found this picture while surfing the net and thought it was really funny. It’s just the kind of thing I would do.
Whored Out for Big Money
I’m a consultant, which basically means I’m a whore. My company whores me out for money to other companies when they need work done. It’s actually a pretty good gig and I enjoy it for the most part. No job is perfect.
But last week I think I topped my all-time most-money-for-a-gig record. It was a one day custom teach and consulting day with a client. The company charged them, get this, $6000 for ONE day of work. I was there eight hours. Stop scrambling to open up the calculator on your computer. I’ll save you the mouse-clicks and keystrokes. It works out to $750 / hr.
Now I realize that there are some working professionals in Vegas that rake in more than that but I don’t look as good as they do and I am not sure that I am “qualified” for the position, being a male and all. But for me, I thought that was pretty good bank.
But last week I think I topped my all-time most-money-for-a-gig record. It was a one day custom teach and consulting day with a client. The company charged them, get this, $6000 for ONE day of work. I was there eight hours. Stop scrambling to open up the calculator on your computer. I’ll save you the mouse-clicks and keystrokes. It works out to $750 / hr.
Now I realize that there are some working professionals in Vegas that rake in more than that but I don’t look as good as they do and I am not sure that I am “qualified” for the position, being a male and all. But for me, I thought that was pretty good bank.
Trapped in the Restroom
On my last gig, I had gotten to the client’s site early so I could setup. Unfortunately there was a scheduling snafu and I couldn’t get into the room to get setup so they stuck me off in a corner where I could surf and check emails until the room freed up.
While I was killing time I thought I’d hit the restroom so I didn’t have to go later on. I asked where the restrooms were and proceeded to make my way through the maze of cubicles walls and locked doors until I reached the restroom. The whole time I am trying to remember 5689, which is the code to get back into the secured area. I go into the restroom and I think this is a fairly large restroom. I find a stall and proceeded to do my business.
Now I am sitting on the john and repeating to myself “5689, 5689…” And then I hear the door to the restroom open an a bunch of ladies conversing amongst themselves and laughing with a quick “…catch up with you later” at which point the conversation ceases and the door shuts.
Now, I realize at this point that I didn’t get my daily caffeine down my throat because the fucking hotel only had coffee and there wasn’t a gas station between my and the client’s site. That means I am not exactly firing on all cylinders at the moment. Did I read the marquee on the door correctly? Did it say “men” or “women”?
As I am sitting there I forget all about 5689 and starting back-tracking in my mind to walking into the restroom. Did I see any urinals? I can’t remember, but I was thinking that I had not seen any when I came in.
OMG! Am I in the wrong restroom??!!!!!???!!!??? To be honest, I wasn’t really sure. I start trying to think of some logical way to get out of this because I am done at this point and I am eventually going to have to leave. Aside from that, my shoes are definitely men’s shoes and I think that would be fairly noticeable.
I start trying to peek through the gaps in the stall walls but I can’t see anything but sinks and mirrors showing more stalls – no urinals.
Finally I say to myself “fuck it. I’ve been in plenty of men’s bathrooms when the ladies came in and used ‘em. Besides it was an honest mistake.” I then proceeded to leave the stall and the first thing I see is a guy washing his hands at the sink….whew….
BTW – I had forgotten the code and had to wait until someone else entered the secure area so I could follow ‘em in.
While I was killing time I thought I’d hit the restroom so I didn’t have to go later on. I asked where the restrooms were and proceeded to make my way through the maze of cubicles walls and locked doors until I reached the restroom. The whole time I am trying to remember 5689, which is the code to get back into the secured area. I go into the restroom and I think this is a fairly large restroom. I find a stall and proceeded to do my business.
Now I am sitting on the john and repeating to myself “5689, 5689…” And then I hear the door to the restroom open an a bunch of ladies conversing amongst themselves and laughing with a quick “…catch up with you later” at which point the conversation ceases and the door shuts.
Now, I realize at this point that I didn’t get my daily caffeine down my throat because the fucking hotel only had coffee and there wasn’t a gas station between my and the client’s site. That means I am not exactly firing on all cylinders at the moment. Did I read the marquee on the door correctly? Did it say “men” or “women”?
As I am sitting there I forget all about 5689 and starting back-tracking in my mind to walking into the restroom. Did I see any urinals? I can’t remember, but I was thinking that I had not seen any when I came in.
OMG! Am I in the wrong restroom??!!!!!???!!!??? To be honest, I wasn’t really sure. I start trying to think of some logical way to get out of this because I am done at this point and I am eventually going to have to leave. Aside from that, my shoes are definitely men’s shoes and I think that would be fairly noticeable.
I start trying to peek through the gaps in the stall walls but I can’t see anything but sinks and mirrors showing more stalls – no urinals.
Finally I say to myself “fuck it. I’ve been in plenty of men’s bathrooms when the ladies came in and used ‘em. Besides it was an honest mistake.” I then proceeded to leave the stall and the first thing I see is a guy washing his hands at the sink….whew….
BTW – I had forgotten the code and had to wait until someone else entered the secure area so I could follow ‘em in.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Veteran's Day!
Happy Veteran's Day.
Please take a moment to honor the men and women who serve our country!
I'll try to write more later, but I am in the thick of it. Unfortunately, we don't exactly get holidays off.
Please take a moment to honor the men and women who serve our country!
I'll try to write more later, but I am in the thick of it. Unfortunately, we don't exactly get holidays off.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Camping at the Power Plant!
I took off this weekend to go camping with some friends. Bling! and his wife went and were kind enough to prepare all the food as well as bring all the cooking stuff. That was good for me because I am a bit of a minimalist-type-camper. I like to bring as little as I can get away with for however long I will be somewhere. That usually means whatever I can fit in or on my pack and an ice chest with food and drinks.
Bling! took a lot more than that, though and pretty much had a whole truckload full of stuff!! We used it, though, and it worked out quite well. Somewhere there is a happy medium between all of that and I am not quite sure where it is.
Bling! also made our reservations at Martin Creek Lake State Park. Good luck finding it on a map. But it is there….on the lake…..right by the power plant!! ACK! Well, it’s nobody’s fault about that one. You never know until you get there. And for some reason people were out in droves when he was making reservations. All the parks we wanted to hit were already full about 3 weeks out. Why did everyone pick this weekend? I have no idea.
We got to the park and it was a fairly nice park. We even ended up with two nice spots facing the lake. Unfortunately, the place was packed and with all the RVers coming in and out there was a lot of people, traffic and noise. One guy must have taken 30 minutes to back his huge-ass trailer into a camp spot across the road and it was nothing but a diesel engine idling forever and ever and ever.
The power plant was on the lake and you could hear it constantly droning and making some pretty heinous noises every few hours. Then, on another afternoon some moron fires up a pressure washer and decides it’s a great time to wash his entire airstream. So much for peace and quiet.
But there was some peace and quiet. You just had to be patient. Things would settle down….we’d get the fire going and all hang out, watch the fire, make smores and have beverages.
The nights were a little cooler out in E. Texas away from the urban heat effect. The lows would dip into the 40’s and the highs would hit the 70’s. I think most of us were OK, but Bling! did say he got a little chilly one night.
Young Blood came with us and it was his first time camping. None of us fucked with him and he said he had a good time. I’m guessing that we didn’t mess with him because with all the people and crap going on it just didn’t quite feel like you were out in the woods away from everything. It’s much more fun to fuck with someone when they feel exposed and vulnerable to the elements and wildlife.
And speaking of wildlife – I really didn’t see any. I didn’t even see any raccoons, which is highly unusual at a state park. I’m guessing it was just too many people and too much noise. The only thing that spooked us a little bit is that during the last night we were there and crashed out there was a horrible screaming-death-sound of what sounded like someone’s little yipper dog tied up to an RV that something else found tasty.
But, like I said….we all had a good time and relaxed quite a bit. It was nice to get out of the city and enjoy being outdoors for the entire weekend.
Bling! took a lot more than that, though and pretty much had a whole truckload full of stuff!! We used it, though, and it worked out quite well. Somewhere there is a happy medium between all of that and I am not quite sure where it is.
Bling! also made our reservations at Martin Creek Lake State Park. Good luck finding it on a map. But it is there….on the lake…..right by the power plant!! ACK! Well, it’s nobody’s fault about that one. You never know until you get there. And for some reason people were out in droves when he was making reservations. All the parks we wanted to hit were already full about 3 weeks out. Why did everyone pick this weekend? I have no idea.
We got to the park and it was a fairly nice park. We even ended up with two nice spots facing the lake. Unfortunately, the place was packed and with all the RVers coming in and out there was a lot of people, traffic and noise. One guy must have taken 30 minutes to back his huge-ass trailer into a camp spot across the road and it was nothing but a diesel engine idling forever and ever and ever.
The power plant was on the lake and you could hear it constantly droning and making some pretty heinous noises every few hours. Then, on another afternoon some moron fires up a pressure washer and decides it’s a great time to wash his entire airstream. So much for peace and quiet.
But there was some peace and quiet. You just had to be patient. Things would settle down….we’d get the fire going and all hang out, watch the fire, make smores and have beverages.
The nights were a little cooler out in E. Texas away from the urban heat effect. The lows would dip into the 40’s and the highs would hit the 70’s. I think most of us were OK, but Bling! did say he got a little chilly one night.
Young Blood came with us and it was his first time camping. None of us fucked with him and he said he had a good time. I’m guessing that we didn’t mess with him because with all the people and crap going on it just didn’t quite feel like you were out in the woods away from everything. It’s much more fun to fuck with someone when they feel exposed and vulnerable to the elements and wildlife.
And speaking of wildlife – I really didn’t see any. I didn’t even see any raccoons, which is highly unusual at a state park. I’m guessing it was just too many people and too much noise. The only thing that spooked us a little bit is that during the last night we were there and crashed out there was a horrible screaming-death-sound of what sounded like someone’s little yipper dog tied up to an RV that something else found tasty.
But, like I said….we all had a good time and relaxed quite a bit. It was nice to get out of the city and enjoy being outdoors for the entire weekend.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
An Historic Election – Our First Black President Elect
I stayed up a tad late last night and watched the election as the votes started coming in. Prior to the west coast votes coming in it was a good example of how the electoral votes count differently than the popular vote. I say this because McCain and Obama were pretty much dead even in the popular vote, but Obama had the electoral votes by a fairly wide margin.
By the time the west coast votes started coming in it was over. Obama decimated McCain. McCain called Obama to concede and then gave a pretty good speech congratulating and supporting Obama. The one thing I didn’t like about his speech was the crowd that was there. I thought it was in poor taste to boo Obama any time McCain gave him credit where credit was due.
A while later Obama gave his victory speech. It was a pretty good speech. Of course, he avoided issues and mostly made an effort to encourage Americans and let us know that he would try to do a good job, but it would be difficult.
My friend sent me a text message and asked if I was pleased with the outcome of the election. I replied that I was not, but now that it is over we must move forward and try to make it work.
And that’s really the issue, now, isn’t it? Making things work. I guess time will tell, but the bottom line is that Obama is about to be our 44th president and we should all make an effort to support him and make this work for the good of the people of the United States.
By the time the west coast votes started coming in it was over. Obama decimated McCain. McCain called Obama to concede and then gave a pretty good speech congratulating and supporting Obama. The one thing I didn’t like about his speech was the crowd that was there. I thought it was in poor taste to boo Obama any time McCain gave him credit where credit was due.
A while later Obama gave his victory speech. It was a pretty good speech. Of course, he avoided issues and mostly made an effort to encourage Americans and let us know that he would try to do a good job, but it would be difficult.
My friend sent me a text message and asked if I was pleased with the outcome of the election. I replied that I was not, but now that it is over we must move forward and try to make it work.
And that’s really the issue, now, isn’t it? Making things work. I guess time will tell, but the bottom line is that Obama is about to be our 44th president and we should all make an effort to support him and make this work for the good of the people of the United States.
Monday, November 03, 2008
Chick Auctions off Virginity
Today I was in the gym and on one of the TV’s the Trya Banks Show was on (whatever it’s called). I couldn’t hear what was going on, but I could read the closed-caption prompt and there was a chick on that is auctioning off her virginity to the highest bidder.
Wait…I take that back. After reading some articles on this she says it’s not just about the highest bidder, but she also wants someone that is intelligent and good looking. Yeah, um…sure. As long as they have the million dollars she is hoping to get out of this. You heard right, she hopes to get one million out of it.
Her motivation? She’s a whor…er….she wants the money to pay for her master’s degree. At least that is what she says.
Is anyone surprised by this? I’m not. Only that it’s making big waves in the blogosphere and the media. I don’t personally care if she auctions herself off or not, but making this out to be anything other than prostitution is ridiculous, and if that’s her gig then more power to her. If I was a hot chick and I could get things in life because of it, I’d use it to my advantage, too!
Now she has taken a lie detector test, and is willing to submit to a gynecological exam. Still, I’d be leery of any girl that is supposedly a “virgin” and is willing to plook some total stranger for cash. Ever hear of the chicks that do everything under the sun, including anal sex, but don’t have vaginal sex and claim they are “virgins?”
Maybe this guy will be the highest bidder. It certainly looks like he has enough cash with that huge-ass gold chain and cross around his neck. That had to cost some bucks, and clearly he has morals. He’s for Jesus!
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