Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Fat Bastard on the Rebound!


Well I have finally committed to getting my fat ass back in shape again. I find it odd that many people are telling me that I look like I’ve lost weight or that I look good. I can’t quite figure it out because let me tell you *I* know I’m a fat bastard. Your friend my lie to you while you are both horking down Crispy Cream’s faster than my truck sucks gasoline but the scale don’t!

Besides, just because I may be “average” to everyone else I feel like a fat bastard. I’ve always been skinny and in shape. Now I feel fat and out of shape. So, being the selfish prick that I am it’s really all about me. J

In any case, I had been trying to do more things this summer like biking but it rains all the time. If I want to hike, it’s boring compared to hiking 9000-foot mountains with 2000-foot vertical climbs. And I’m really not sure which is worse – being accosted by a enraged crack head with a bald guy fetish or checking over my shoulder for grizzlies, but something tells me that I enjoy being with the bears more.

In any case, it’s all an excuse. Ultimately, you have to make the decision to be a fat bastard and balloon up to epic proportions Al Gore style, or do something about it. So I’m trying to do something about it. I was hitting the stationary cycle in PA, and now I signed back up at the local gym. They gave me a smoking price (can you beat $15.00 / month?) because I used to work out there all the time and remembered me. “WTF happened to you? You fat bastard!”

So now that I plonked down my hard earned cash I feel motivated to go to the gym because I am also a cheap bastard and I hate throwing my money away. Today was my first day lifting weights again. It was all chest and triceps for today with a good solid 30-mins of cardio on top of a warm-up and however long it took me to rip off some sets. I really tried to take it easy because I know I am going to be hurting for the 1st week or two. So I tried to be good and just let my body know it was going to be dealing with this again and to get ready for it.

Tomorrow, if you ask me how I am I’m sure I’ll say I am fine, but please don’t touch my he-bitch-man-titties!!!!

No comments: