A Bunch of Fat Bastards

I've been in a pretty foul mood the last few days. Ok, maybe it's been a foul mood the past few weeks. This weekend didn't help much. Yes, I said a bit Thank-ya for and to all the veterans who have made it possible for me to sit here and write on this blog.

But they've also made it possible to do something else - become a bunch of fat, lazy, disgusting slobs.

My friend Julie (one of the Julie's) and I started getting into it about how society is obsessed with an idealistic vision of beauty. My opinion is that she, and everyone else, has to deal with it more-so than the rest of the country because she lives near Bozeman, MT.

You have to understand the demographics of Bozeman. The whole town is somewhere around 35,000 people. A little less than about 1/2 of that population is college students. So right off the bat you have girls and guys that are 18-24 years old. The prime of our life.... our metabolism is through the roof and every guy has a six pack, not counting the one in his hands.

But then let's look at everyone else that lives there. For the most part, people choose to live in that area because they are very active, out-doors, type of people. You have hiking, biking, jogging, rock climbing, kayaking, rafting, paragliding, fishing, snow-shoeing, skiing, snowboarding, etc. If people aren't already in-shape from all of that, they are looking to get in better shape to make their favorite activity that much more enjoyable.

I contend that because this is what she sees day in and day out, as well as the popular media on TV she is more prone to think everyone is obsessed with an “idealistic” vision of beauty.

I am here to tell you that it isn’t so. I travel all over the U.S. and am fortunate enough to see the degradation of society at the physical level because I am outside of Bozeman, MT.

Yesterday, Grasshopper and I went to a place called Palomino’s. It’s an all-you-can eat buffet place and I had never been there. It’s similar to a Golden Coral but a little bit tastier. I usually avoid those places because the food is so bland that it’s like eating card-board and most of the crap is so unhealthy for you that I won’t eat much of it.

But I went to try it out. The food was actually tasty. I think that is due to the fact that a large portion of the patrons are Hispanics rather than bland-ass-white-folks. But while I was there I sat down and told Hopper I didn’t think I could eat there anymore and he asked why not. “Because this place is disgusting,” was my response….. he thought I meant the food. I had to explain that it was the people that were making me sick. Just about everyone there, and I mean at least four out of five were fat bastards. I’m not talking a little meat on your bones. I’m talking morbidly obese. It was freaking gross. I think we were the only “skinny” guys in there, and I’m not exactly skinny. Even my mom implied that I was turning into a fat bastard (I’ve been a stick all my life).

But getting back to the point, it was a classic example of what every place except Bozeman, MT is. A bunch of fat fucking bastards gorging themselves to epic proportions at all-you-can-eat places like Palomino’s. And you can sure as shit bet they weren’t going to go do a 1000-foot vertical climb up the M to work off those few extra calories they took in from the four course desert they just scarfed down.

The really sad part? The kids. Yes, even the kids were a bunch of fat bastards. I see it all the time and it just breaks my heart. Type-2 Diabetes afflicts a huge number of children (somewhere over 50%) and it’s a direct side effect of being a fat bastard.

The kids don’t know any better. It’s our job, our moralistic obligation, to guide them and nurture them. To protect them and give them the ability to learn and take care of themselves. We are failing them.

But I’ll be back at Palomino’s this Wed. for all you-can-eat crawfish. They will probably suck, but there is a glimmer of hope that they might actually be tasty. We’ll see…..