Where Have All my Friends Gone?

I guess it’s inevitable that as we grow older and become more involved with our own lives, family and careers that we tend to distance ourselves from those not immediately involved within the nucleus of those pursuits.

I don’t drink much anymore so on the weekend I try to go out and treat myself to a few beers and some bad food. Actually, I like good food, but it may not be good for me. Last night I went up to have a little Mexican food and a beer or two. I was sitting there by myself and thought that while I am used to this due to all of my traveling why am I sitting here by myself when I am home? Where have all my friends gone?

Now, I have friend and acquaintances all over the country. I obviously can’t go hang out with them unless one of us is willing to hop a plane and spend some scratch traveling. That isn’t going to happen on short notice, and certainly not just to go have a beer or two on Friday night.

So what about the others?

One of my friends and I get together for lunch about once a month. He’s married, has kids, and runs his own business. That pretty much means he’s off the grid and can’t just go hang out.

Another friend of mine has recently gone off the deep end. He thinks I am sleeping with his wife and am conspiring with her to hack his computers, have him followed, and am otherwise generally out to get him. You can imagine that he probably doesn’t want to go hang out and have a beer with me.

Another guy I know has moved further away, bought a house, gotten married, and started a good career for himself. He also has to work odd and mostly late hours, so he’s pretty much unavailable for a weekend beer and due to the distance it makes it even harder to get together.

One of my former drinking buddies is so pussy whipped and entangled in a bad and abusive marriage that his wife won’t let him out of her site long enough to go have a beer anywhere. She and I don’t get along so I pretty much don’t see him anymore.

One of my friends and his wife have gotten really busy with their careers and with other extracurricular activities that take up a lot of their time. Also, due to their hobby I suspect that they are more likely to focus on hanging out with folks that are into the same hobby, which I am not. I am not upset by this, but I do miss seeing them.

Another friend and his wife don’t go out on the weekends, but we do manage to get together on most Thursdays for dinner. I do enjoy that when I can make it, but we can’t always put it together. Of course, I don’t drink during the week so…..

Then there is a guy that is married, has kids, etc. As with most people that have a family he just can’t get together that often. He also moved a little further away and we just haven’t been speaking as much.

I have a friend that lives fairly far away and has a pretty hectic schedule. It’s very difficult to get his time for anything. We’ve been trying to get together with his wife and my g/f for months. Hasn’t happened.

And my g/f lives about 40 miles away. This has its advantages and disadvantages. When you want to hang out and have a beer or get a bite to eat it’s a disadvantage, especially when either of you have worked all day or you are tired. The last thing you want to do is kill yourself driving a couple of hours in traffic. I usually see her on the weekend, but that doesn’t mean that we spend all of our time together.

As for the others? There are people whom I would go have a beer with, and I would consider friends, but it’s not like we would normally hang out all the time anyway.

So, I enjoyed my two beers and my paella by myself while watching the usual bar-scene folks.