First Day of Spring?

Isn’t today supposed to be the first day of spring? It doesn’t much feel like it. Sometime my birthday falls on the first day of spring, but this year it doesn’t. Yesterday was a nice day outside – almost 70, today it’s 37 and raining. I kind of like it. It seems to fit my mood.

One of my great aunts passed away yesterday. She was a pretty interesting person and one of my favorite stories about her was when I was significantly younger – my parents and I were in E. Texas visiting everyone. We were talking to her and the phone started ringing. They didn’t have answering machines or anything fancy and the phone kept ringing. My dad asked, “Are you going to get that?” She simply replied, “No, if it’s important they’ll call back.”

At the time I thought my dad found this amusing and probably thought this was an usual response. I liked it, but at the time couldn’t quite understand why. Later, as I got older, I understood why. Today, most of us still get way too caught up in being connected in some shape or fashion to everything else around us. We take text messages, and phone calls at all hours of the night and day. But I don’t. If I am eating dinner I don’t answer my phone. If I’m having a conversation with someone else or out with friends you won’t find me engrossed in a texting with another friend. Why? Because I’d rather be in the moment with those around me. And my great aunt was very correct – if it’s really important they will call back, and today they can leave you a voice mail.

I always connected with her and I’ll miss her. I can’t make the funeral because it happened too fast and it was being held on short notice in E. Texas. I understand she didn’t want a big funeral and she didn’t want everyone to make a fuss. That sounds like her.

Another one of my great aunts passed away about 2 weeks ago. I wouldn’t say that I felt quite as connected with her even though she was always very kind. She loved having kids around and always made us feel welcome even though we weren’t adults, yet. She was well respected in her church and in the community.

The both lived long and good lives (almost 90 each) and while I am not sad for them, I am sad for myself because I won’t get to see them again and enjoy their company.

My last remaining great aunt has been diagnosed with cancer. The docs give her less than a year to live. We are hoping that she can make it to her 91st birthday and I have a feeling if she does there will be a big celebration. I just saw her and she was as sharp as a tack and in good spirits. She decided she had lived a long life and had done all she could do. She didn’t want chemo, but I think she agreed to some radiation therapy provided that it showed positive results.

And one of my other distant friends was just diagnosed with a rare and aggressive form of brain cancer. He was talking to someone at work, was feeling fine, and then his face went numb. Docs quickly assessed the situation and removed a mass from his brain that they couldn’t identify. They sent it to the mayo clinic and the came back with the bad news. He’s a great guy, wife, kids, etc. He’s going to fight it, and I think he should, but it doesn’t look good. They have given him less than a year to live. I think he is a year younger than I am.

So I’m not in a great mood today. The rain and cold weather are fitting. In a day or two it will be sunny and beautiful. Plants are already blooming and wildlife will be coming out of hibernation. My friend’s daughter is getting married in about a week. I remember when she was a tiny little thing in diapers. It just goes to show us that the cycle of life continues. And while I know this feeling will pass it just doesn’t make me feel any better today.