I recently had to travel to Rock Springs, WY. It’s a trip I’ve made quite a few times. If you fly on United you leave from an E-gate out of DFW. The security checkpoint recently put in one of the see-you-nekkid scanners. The last time I went through the checkpoint they diverted people away from the scanner right before I got to it. This time, it was just the opposite and I was the first one up. I politely said to the TSA dood that I’d like to opt out. He tells a TSA chick that I’d like to opt out and she proceeds to yell across the entire area “WE HAVE AN OPT OUT. NEED MALE ASSIST.” Seriously? WTF? There were about 10 TSA agents standing around and a bunch of people. I wasn’t embarrassed for me, but for the dufus that felt it was necessary to yell at everyone.
I had to go stand off to the side for a few minutes while they found someone to molest me. To be honest, it wasn’t that bad. The guy was really quick about it and explained the procedure. I stood where I could see all of my belongings, which they never so much as looked at beyond putting them through the x-ray. I found it kind of amusing that he must have checked out my legs about six times each – front of hand, back of hand, from the front, from the back, on each side, etc. I wanted to tell him if he didn’t find anything the first two times, he wasn’t likely to find anything the third, fourth, fifth, and sixth times, either. He felt around the inside of my waistband, but was never particularly invasive beyond that. Of course, if I had suddenly had a stiffie he might have felt more than he bargained for. But….he never felt me up. Not once did he feel around my crotch area. I don’t know if it was just him, or if the TSA has gotten so much heat over that particular procedure that they’ve relaxed it a little bit. I almost felt like I had been cheated out of a good scandal or something.
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